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Jessica Byrnes

Episode 54 - The Byrnes Sisters Strike Again

In previous episodes, my sisters have ruined Christmas, and Memorial Day. Now they ruin a funeral. This episode was recorded after attending the funeral of a close family member, and my sisters help produce an episode where the humor is as black as pitch. It's the full set of Kubler-Ross stages, it's the laugh that catches in your throat, it's the tears which might be of laughter or pain. It's This Week in Despair. This episode also contains a tribute to our fallen comrade and former guest, the late Dan Ronan.

Episode 42 - The Return of the Byrnes Sisters

My sisters previously ruined Christmas, and now they're back to ruin another holiday. Memorial Day usually means cookouts, and on this food-themed show we discuss marijuana-infused bacon, insect-based protein, and how everything gives you cancer. Suzanne makes a brave stand against poisioning one's family. Pepperoni pervert perpetrators make an appearance. My sisters salute our Presidents on Memorial Day with a series of graphic sexual references. They're terrible people.

Episode 42 - Outtakes

My sisters discuss Greek yogurt and end up making terrible ethnic jokes and puns. The rest of the episode is worse.

Episode 30 - The Byrnes Sisters

My sisters, Jessica and Suzanne, are my guests this episode with the intention of sharing Christmas memories from our childhood and adulthood, but instead reveal themselves to be horrible, horrible people. Grandmothers are mocked. Nutloaf is discussed. A story is told of enemas purchased in advance of a funeral. All manner of bodily excretions are brought to light. Jane Goodall is disparaged. Mother Teresa is slandered. This is officially the Worst Christmas Episode Ever. It might ruin all future Christmases. Consider this before listening.

Episode 21 - Jessica Byrnes and Brian Wille

My sister Jessica Byrnes makes a return appearance, accompanied by local man-about-town Brian Wille. The VP debate is quickly discussed and dismissed in favor of Lance Armstrong's testicle, a murder-castration in New York, and the linking of Laura Ingalls Wilder and Flowers in the Attic. Jessica won't stop talking about Danish penises. Mice are disparaged. Iowa is praised.

Episode 9 - Jessica Byrnes and Kris Simmons

My heavily-medicated sister fills in as a guest alongside the delightful Kris Simmons, and is funny enough in her own right that all future guests may be required to take painkillers. Topics include the Supreme Court's ruling on Obamacare, Adele, and a surprisingly lengthy discussion of strippers.